Challenging behaviour

There is always a reason.

I am a new teacher and after a fair share of challenging behaviours right from the start of the year I feel I have come a long way from not wanting to come to work on certain days, to looking forward to learn more about the children and how I can support them. Now every time someone comes to discuss a challenging behaviour with me my first question is “I wonder why?” because this question has been the ultimate answer to all the challenging behaviours I have faced as a teacher. This is why collaboration with families and great relationship where you can be open with them and they can confide in you is so important. I keep remembering what my lecturer told us in one of our units “You must never judge” and this is what I now tell my team.

When I see my preschoolers I can’t help but feel a sense of pride. We have worked hard together to build a strong relationship with each other. My lot is respectful, kind, considerate, welcoming and inclusive (they do have their moments every now and then though). They ask questions, and they know that there are no silly questions (you know this when you sit down with a child and explain to them that the penis is an organ and not a bone after listening to the skeleton song).

It wasn’t always this way. At the start of the year there was chaos, but I have come to realise that they bounce of my emotions. If I am stressed or unsure they sense it and respond like something out of ‘Where the Wild Things Are’. If I am calm, happy and listening they are calm, happy and attentive. I’ve also begun winging it like a pro, and those days turn out to be some of our best learning experiences, when I ask them “What shall we do today?”. I digress.

What I really wanted to share was, What do you do when you have a child who displays challenging behaviours that makes you want to call in for a sick day on the days that child attends?

• You remind yourself that you need to share your calm with them, not your chaos.
• That you are the Adult and you need to get your shit together and support this child who is struggling to find their calm.
• You need to document everything and make sure you’re critically reflecting on your own practice as well as your room routines and rituals.
• Do some professional development if you feel you are not ready to deal with this (I recommend Rare Webinars).
• Prepare ABC Charts to help answer your questions and provide you with some patterns of behaviour, also, it is evidence when you want to have difficult conversations with families (more on that on another post) and leads the way to the preparation of an Individual Education Plan.
• You need eyes on the child at all times. We use a key word that only educators know and if we have to step away for something we pass the key word to another educator. This way we can pass the responsibility to someone else on the floor without the child knowing it has anything to do with them e.g. you have my…pen, teddy bear, car keys, coffee?).
• Talk to families, come up with strategies (I like to have a list of strategies I have already implemented as well as ones I believe may help the child depending on what the home situations is; listed in advance) Do-not-use-the-word-assessment until you feel the parents are ready to hear it. I keep this conversation sandwiched. Strengths, address my concerns, happy facts and updates/ improvements, time line. I also have a whole section of where I ask, what is happening at home, routine, eating pattern, socialising, physical development, screen time etc, so I have a better understanding of this child outside the centre.
• Most importantly, you need to be able to know when you need a break even 5 to 10 mins off the floor for the sake of your sanity.

Unfortunately there is no one way of dealing with challenging behaviour. Each child is different, and will require a different response from you. What will make a difference is how committed you are you them and their wellbeing, and your ability to convey to the families that you are working with them not against them. There are times when after having read Louise porter I feel she does not know what she is talking about when she says “Behaviour Guidance NOT Behaviour Management”. But after talking to the families, and implementing strategies that are consistent across home and centre when the word guidance begins to click into place, I feel she really might be on to something.

Remember: Children need our compassion the most, when the appear to deserve it the least – Louise Porter

~ Ru